the bitter old man inside

Written by Bowie Jones

 

The bitter old man lives inside a hard dome house

He’s a confused old man who wears a blouse

A Blouse of medicine, open in the back

Every morning his windows open a crack

When his windows open he likes to shout

He shouts in hate, and curses about

 

His house moves up and down all around town

He has two oval windows and that makes him frown

He stares out them and hates what he sees

But not as much as he hates when I sneeze

 

It shakes his walls in a terrible way

He hates me the most but continues to stay

I hear him always, rambling about

I can’t tell you how badly I wish he were out

 

Out of the dome where he uncomfortably lives

Where he spews all his self-hate and that’s all he gives

The old man has dementia and I know that’s not fun

But the depression he gives me can’t be undone

 

He constantly rates me a one out of ten

But then he forgets and repeats it again

Again and again until he’s run out of breath

When he stops his spouting I hope that’s its death

 

I know in my heart that he is here to stay

And often I think, “I could kill him someday”

Though I know that where I go, he goes as well

Perhaps it’d be better if I took us to hell

 

He knows that I think this and knows when to stop.

He gives me just enough time to forget I’m a slop

Just enough time to make me love life again

And that’s when he waits, til I think I’m a ten

 

That’s when he whispers, “you know what she thinks?”

“She thinks you’re as worthless as summer ice-skating rinks”

“She can do better, you know she they can”

“Better than you, you worthless shell of a man”

 

That’s when I say, “You’re probably right”

I go back to my home, giving up for the night.

I fall into bed where it’s lonely and cold

I know he’s not real, the man who’s cranky and old

But I feel better to think it is not my own doing

That my self-hatred is just an old man who is booing

 

Never the less I’ll fall deep into sleep

Where the arbitrary old man simmers and steeps

So that once I wake up, the day shiny and new

He can great me by saying “it sucks to be you”

 

Contact Bowie at bowie.jones@loop.colum.edu