Growing pains

Written by Kaylee Beckas


“No one warns you about the amount of mourning in growth.” - Té V. Smith, Releasing & Receiving


One of my first memories is when I was younger and lay in bed, struggling to fall asleep, I often found myself plagued by this eerie feeling that my head was much too oversized for my body. Everything was too big and overwhelming. Right now, over a decade later, I’m feeling the same way.


I’m not sure what I’m supposed to be doing in life, and sometimes it feels too heavy. That dull ache in my chest and immensity of the upcoming future is simply a constant reminder that I’m dying to find a life worth living. I crave freedom and the ability to live a life without barriers. I find myself longing for simpler times when it was possible to ignore the unfairness and injustices of the world, despite knowing that naivety and innocence are impossible to maintain forever.        


Finding the balance between who you once were and who you want to someday be

The hardest part about growing up is finding the balance between who you once were and who you want to someday be. It’s easy to find yourself feeling stuck somewhere in the middle with no where left to go. With all of the feelings and obstacles to be faced in life, it becomes crucial to channel that confused energy into creative work and making yourself into someone you’re proud of. This can often consist of letting go of the old you and embracing something new and uncomfortable.


Life happens before you are even able to realize and recognize it.  Life happens somewhere throughout the process of pain and acceptance, and in ways not easily understood. Once you can find freedom and the strength to go on when life feels too heavy, it is possible to grow.


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